


The fear of falling apart

by wall_flower1



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Beta Read, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attack, Tsukki is good friend, Yamaguchi has a panic attack, help through a panic attack, takes place after he messes up a serv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wall_flower1/pseuds/wall_flower1
Summary: Yamaguchi has a panic attack after he messes up a serve, and Tsukishima helps him through it.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 6
Kudos: 111





	The fear of falling apart

**Author's Note:**

> Tw: Descriptions of a panic attack, and self hatred 
> 
> I wrote this in a day so yeah, but I really wanted to write a story like this for a while. I hope you enjoy : )
> 
> And I would like to mention my lovely beta reader/editor who is @rynliadon on Tumblr : )

Yamaguchi couldn’t breathe. He was taking in air, but it wasn’t filling his lungs. It was like he was drowning, and no one was there to save him. His hands felt numb. He could hear his heart beating faster in his ear as he stifled a sob. He felt like he was going to die, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Yamaguchi was sitting in a bathroom stall, gripping his head. His face was red and puffy with tears. He was having a violent panic attack. It was the first one in a while, and there was no one there to help him.

Why would they anyway? He was just a disappointment to the team, and could easily be replaced by any other of the players. He wasn’t as special as any of the other first years, and he didn’t have as much experience as the second or third years. Why would anyone care about him if there were people who were better than him? 

He took in multiple shaky breaths, trying to ground himself, but nothing worked. He let out another stifled sob as he started to shake. 

He messed up. He messed up badly. He could have made the serve, but he didn’t. God, why was he so stupid? He can’t do anything right.

He looked down at his feet, but his vision was getting blurry. He couldn’t tell if it was because of the tears or because he was dizzy. He squeezed his eyes shut, and tried to think positively. 

He quickly covered his mouth once the door to the bathroom opened. He tried to steady his breathing, and stay as quiet as he could. 

“Yams?” It was Tsukishima. He sounded concerned. 

He was probably here to tell him that he did bad. He probably didn’t even want to be friends with him anymore. He definitely hates him, and won’t talk to him ever again. He let out a muffled sob and heard Tsukishima walk over to the stall he was in.

“Hey Yams, are you alright? Can you open the door for me?” Tukishima was asking in a soft tone, keeping his voice level.

Great, now he had made Tukishima worried. He felt like such a burden on everyone around him. He let out a sob. He was such a mess. Why would anyone ever want to be his friend?

Yamaguchi slowly extended a shaky hand to unlock the stall door. He stepped back a little, and wrapped his arms around himself. Tukishima opened the door, and sucked in a sharp breath. The sound of it made Yamaguchi let out another sob.

“I-i’m so s-sorry T-tsuki. I-i messed u-up the s-s-serve.” Yamaguchi stammered out, looking down.

Tsukishimas shook his head. “Yams, it’s fine. It isn’t a big deal. We won.”

Yamaguchi was shaking harshly. He gripped his fingernails into his forearms. “But I let the team down. I let you down.” He let out another sob and dug his fingernails in deeper.

Tsukishima hesitantly stepped closer to him. “Hey, Yams, you didn’t let anyone down, okay? Is it okay if I touch you?” 

Yamaguchi nodded the best he could, and Tsukishima moved closer to him. He slowly peeled Yamaguchi’s hands away from his forearms. He held his hands and gave them a reassuring squeeze. Tsukishima wiped away a few of his tears.

“Do you think you can try and match my breathing?” Tsukishima’s voice was calm and level. Yamaguchi nodded.

He tried to match the other’s breathing pattern but messed up a lot. He let out a small sob. Tsukishima squeezed his hands a little.

“Yams, you’re doing great. It doesn't have to be perfect, just try your best, okay.” Yamaguchi nodded. “Okay.” 

The two stood there just breathing. Tskishima with calm, clear breaths, and Yamaguchi with rough, shaky breaths. Neither of them knew how long they were like this before Yamaguchi had calmed down. Yamaguchi moved forward and hugged Tsukishima. Tsukishima held him tightly and rubbed his back.

“I’m sorry Tsuki…” Yamaguchi mumbled against the other’s chest. 

Tsukishima held him close. “You have nothing to be sorry about Yams.”

Yamaguchi sniffled a little. “But...but...I had a panic attack, and you had to help me...”

Tsukishima moved so he could look him in the eyes. “You're my friend, and I would always help you.” Tsukishima smiled a little at him. 

Yamaguchi smiled a little. “Thanks, Tsuki.”

Tsukishima looked at him. “But… Your serve could use some work. I’ve seen you do it well in practice, so you really should stop worrying” 

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes with a smile. “I know, I’ll try to do better. But you,” He poked his chest, “could get better on your blocking.”

Tsukishima laughed. “I see that you are feeling better.”

Yamaguchi nodded. “Yeah, thanks to you.”


End file.
